Smart Magnificent Realistic Project

yes I am on it ...the break down a real break ...and I think it's time for me to admit it ,,I can't stand this any more this is too more than much for me to handle . I am in the middle of nowhere no friends no  ,,,they are all busy, away, have their own burdens or ... they don't care. this is the life ,,,a long journey to our destiny full of : illness, sadness, bitter ,,,HAPPINESS , JOY,and much more. ,,,I won't lose faith and I know sometimes it's good to fall into pieces and pass through hard times ,,and I guess this happens to remind us of all we got  ,,,so we have to thank god for everything even those moments of weakness. I think it's going good for me al7mdolilah oooh Allah pleas help me :'(

..I might as well have done this very long time ago ....but there is no time to regret I believe that every thing happens for a reason even if I don't know this reason but sure there is a one and a strong one. I know it's hard to do it but I have to start it today to prove at least to my self I am strong enough to stand on my own. ...I know till this third paragraph I didn't write a significant sentence and out of that feeling of (aauuhhh what the hell are you talking about ???!!!) I know am confused but I got to get my self back to what it used to be ...strong ,,confident ,,smart realistic and magnificent . yaeh I am all that it may take a while ,,,to rebuild and reshape it and this may cause damages but sure it will be for the best I need a space I need a zone I have to handle things ALOONE

,,,exactly this is the point where I am standing right now ..frozen full of doubts and questions ,,,thinking consciously to avoid any irrational action holding on faith believing that one of two things will happen : 1. there will always be something to stand upon. or 2. I will learn how to fly :-) meanwhile I decided not to do anything but sleeping,eating,drinking,and all other things that keep me alive heheh. ,,,,every line has two ends even the infinite line ...and here I come to the end of one of those lines. I am going to decide what I should do and I know I can do it on my own quz I have a GOD who protects me and guides me.. I will do it yes I can I will be that SMR whom I've ever dreamed to be :-)

well,,I keep asking my self why is it so hard for me to believe in love ???!!! I do believe in IT ...uhh now I messed it up right ?? ok here is the story ,,,I guess I believe in it but my fear is more bigger ,,,I am afraid that one day I suffer and brake my heart ,,mmm I know fear of suffering is way more worse than suffering it self ,,,,but it's kinda complicated hehe we live in a closed world and KARMA plays the main role ,,,people keep acting on impulse when they get hurt and this is reflected on other people around them ,,,this is very natural and no one can tell why this happens but,,,a little control and awareness would solve the problem . I thank Allah very much that I 've been surrounded by very loving and caring family and friends..but to be honest sometimes I become more afraid of how they act. my girlfriends keep telling me their stories and ask me to help them when they are troubled,,and to be honest I do that in a very GOOD way ;-) aaaaaa this is no...

uuuuhhhhhhmmmm at this very moment I feel like I am loosing control over my self and I can't trust any one but me ,,,I think every one of us passes through a moment like this. I guess I am having postgraduate problems ,,,do I ??? hehehe now I am sinking in the middle of questions although I have all the answers I can't decide what i want and what I don't ...all I need is to get away have a rest and think ,,,, I hope to live until they say she died while she was living I need to print my fingers everywhere I go,spread love, make change starting within my self and change the whole universe around me and as they say ..there is always plan B ,,for now I will LOOK,  HEAR,  LISTEN,  EAT,  DRINK, SLEEP AND PRAY ...al7mdolilah :-)

It's Tuesday November 23ed (2010), and I decided to start my blog I don't know why??? I feel like I have tons of thoughts and ideas and I want to show them out :-) wondering where this will lead me. I have just finished my college. I have been graduated from University of Khartoum, faculty of Engineering, department of Mechanical Engineering. I live in Omdurman, Khartoum-Sudan- I have two brothers (Hamid and Hazim) and only one sister named (Reem), I am the youngest among them ;-). I live with my Mom and Dad ''Allah blesses my family''. Uhmmm I think this is more than enough to introduce myself and if you want to know me better you have to DARE and ask me (he he just kiddin’) Welcome to my blog